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TANGLED IN WICKED
For eighteen years the Princess Rapunzel has been missing...stolen away by witches Elthie and Gothel.
SONG: ONE SHORT DAY (DANCE)
SCENE 1
FREDA: (To the audience) Oh hello there! Let me just catch my breath. (Bending down and resting
her hands on her knees) Oh dear! I’m absolutely . . . worn out! I’m sweating like a chicken in a stuffing factory. Do you like my new boyfriend? He picked me up in the supermarket at the clearance section.When we got to the tills, something terrible happened. The lady in front of me took one look at him and dropped down dead! She did! Oh, I did feel sorry for her – she’d just bought a bag for life. Anyway, I can’t stand here gossiping. If Elphie and Gothel find me talking to you lot, they'll make my life hell, believe me you don’t want to get on the wrong side of witches. Yes, that’s right, witches! Who’d have thought that Dame Freda, would have ended up as a cook and housekeeper for wicked witches?
(Tilly, Milly and Lily enter)
FREDA: Hello Tilly, Milly, Lily.
TILLY: Oh, you’re back!
FREDA: Yes, I'm back.
MILLY: What's that?!
FREDA: Oh him, he picked me up in the clearance section whilst I was checking the dates on the milk and yogurt.
TILLY: How dairy!
FREDA: Then he bopped me on the knee with a block of mild cheddar.
MILLY: That wasn’t very mature.
FREDA: I tried to escape by throwing a biscuit at him but he ducked down.
TILLY: Jammy dodger.
FREDA: I need to go and have a little lie down to get over the shock. I’ll leave you to get on with your chores.
LILY: What chores?
FREDA: Very kind of you, I’ll have a cup of tea.
(Exit Freda)
MILLY: (To audience) That’s one crazy lady and we love her to bits! She’s the nearest thing we’ve got to a mum. We lived in an orphanage until we were teenagers when Elphie and Gothel came and brought us back here.
LILY: We’ve lived and worked here ever since. We’re not allowed out much so it gets really boring.
MILLY: We're allowed out more than Rapunzel. She’s Elphie and Gothel's niece and she lives here too. She’s not allowed to go anywhere!
LILY: Her aunties say it’s not safe.
TILLY: She sometimes gets really sad about it but I keep her smiling by doing loads of silly stuff. I get told off all the time for acting the fool. I hate getting told off. Maybe you lot can help me out? Every time I come on and shout, ‘Hi Guys!’ You can shout back, ‘Don’t be silly, Tilly!’ And that’ll help me remember to be as sensible as I can. Let’s have a practice.
(Tilly exits and enters until audience participate well)
TILLY: That’s great everyone! Do it like that every time.
(Tilly, Milly and Lily exit)
SCENE 2
ELPHIE: Lock up your husbands, ladies! The witches are back! Younger than ever thanks to Rapunzel’s healing hair! Go on, give us a boo! Give us a hiss! We love getting hissed! Ugh! What is that awful aroma? That sickening stench?! It smells like…children! You know, we love children…on toast! Ha-ha!
What a surprise! It’s Auntie Elphie being cruel and lairy.
GOTHEL: RAPUNZEL
(Fairies appear)
GOTHEL: Oh, please! That’s all we need - interfering fairies! Who are you?!
FAIRY DANDRUFF: Fairy Dandruff! I’ll stop you – make no mistake!
GOTHEL: ‘Fairy Dandruff’, ey? Well, aren’t you a flake!
FAIRY SPLIT ENDS: Fairy Split Ends! I’ve been sent to save the day – I’m a little, glittery grafter!
I won’t rest ‘til the lost Princess has her ‘happy ever after’.
ELPHIE: Be quick – you make me sick! With your wands and dresses all spangled.
GOTHEL: Just wait and see, come with me, you’ll wish you hadn’t ‘tangled'.
(All four look at audience)
ELPHIE: Your ‘long lost Princess’ is locked away in a place you’ll never find,
Defeat me? Pah! You’ll always be a hundred steps behind!
That’s right, sprites; you’ve lost this fight! Your efforts are in vain, Listen well!
Your princess will never - be seen - again!
(Fairies exit)
(Rapunzel, Freda, Tilly, Milly & Lily enter laughing hysterically)
GOTHEL: What are you doing?
RAPUNZEL: We're just having a bit of fun, Aunt Gothel.
GOTHEL: They, are not here to have fun, Rapunzel. They’re here to work, they are our servants.
RAPUNZEL: And our friends.
GOTHEL: They are not friends of mine. I don’t have any friends. I don’t want friends.
MILLY: That’s lucky.
GOTHEL: Friends are more trouble than they’re worth.
RAPUNZEL: Don’t you ever get lonely?
GOTHEL: No, and I know where this is going so don’t even start.
RAPUNZEL: What do you mean?
ELPHIE: You were about to say how lonely you are and how bored you are and how you long to see the world.
RAPUNZEL: Well I am lonely and bored and longing to see the world.
GOTHEL: Tough!
RAPUNZEL: Oh, please Aunt Gothel! Let me go. Set me free to explore. The world is such a wonderful place and I want to see it.
GOTHEL: The world is also a dangerous and unpredictable place.
FREDA: We could take her on a day trip somewhere. How about Blackpool?
MILLY: Oh yes! I like the seaside.
LILY: We could have a donkey ride.
FREDA: Get an ice cream . . .
ELPHIE: (Interrupting) For the last time, Rapunzel is not going anywhere. If you baboons don’t stop encouraging her, I’ll turn you into worms and feed you to the crows.
RAPUNZEL: I’ll never live a full and exciting life if I’m trapped in this tower forever!
GOTHEL: That’s something you’ll have to get used to.
ELPHIE: We need to keep an eye on you so you don’t come to any harm. Besides we like having you around, your youthful energy revitalises us and keeps us young.
TILLY: (To Gothel) How old are you?
GOTHEL: You should never ask a lady her age.
TILLY: Ok, how much do you weigh?
GOTHEL: You really are a broken pencil.
TILLY: Pardon?
GOTHEL: Pointless.
(Elphie and Gothel exit)
FREDA: (Comforting Rapunzel) Try not to be too sad, dear. Shall I put the kettle on and make us a nice cup of tea? That’ll cheer you up.
RAPUNZEL: I need freedom not tea. The only thing that will cheer me up is when I escape from this place. I want to discover all the wonderful places I’ve read about in my books.
MILLY: Well when you do get out of here, don’t forget to take us with you. We want to travel the world too.
FREDA: Make sure you don’t leave me behind either.
SONG 2: WHEN WILL MY LIFE BEGIN
SCENE 3
QUEEN: People of Centre-Parting! Today is a very special day! Tonight is the eighteenth annual lantern festival. Our precious princess Rapunzel has been lost for eighteen long years and tonight, on the eve of her birthday we shall once again ignite the skies above the kingdom with a lantern for every year in the hopes that they will one day light her way home. It’s what my late husband would have wanted.
POLLY: Your margarine, how did the King die?
QUEEN: Oh, it was tragic. When he heard our beloved Rapunzel had gone missing he fell and was rushed to hospital.
POLLY: Couldn’t they save him?
QUEEN: Sadly not… But I remain positive that my little Rapunzel will return. Where is your mother, Polly? I could do with a new hair do.
POLLY: I’ve no clue!
QUEEN: I’d trust no one else to trim my royal tresses.
SCENE 4
DILLY: Good evening, beautiful-queens!
DALLY: How can we serve such radiant ladies?
ELPHIE: Give us the youth potion, we want to look young and fresh, and have skin smoother than a saxophone solo!
DILLY: Yes ma’am, right away! (Choosing a potion) Er… I think it’s this one.
DALLY: (Taking it and putting it back) No, that one makes the young look older, we want the older to younger one.
DILLY: Right. And what if we give her the wrong one, or too much?
DALLY: Then they’ll either turn into a baby or a granddad! Either way, they’ll be wearing nappies!
GOTHEL: Be quiet and give us the potion!
(Dilly and Dally both grab a bottle from the tray and offer it to Elphie and Gothel)
DILLY: It’s this one!
DALLY: No, it’s this one!
(Elphie snatches both bottles)
ELPHIE: One of these better be correct, or you’ll find yourselves swimming in a cauldron of disappointment! (She reads the labels) ‘Eternal Elegance’… Yes, that’s the one! And what’s this? ‘Liquid Laxative?!’ (She turns on DILLY) You tried to feed us THIS?!
(She thrusts the bottle back into Dilly's hands)
DALLY: It does makes things run smoother…
DILLY: And it’s very cleansing.
GOTHEL: Enough! I don’t know why we bother with you two, we should’ve left you in the hairy scary forest!
DALLY: Oh please don’t, it’s really really scary in there; twisting paths, eerie noises, and an awful stench!
DILLY: No, Dally, that was you.
ELPHIE: This hairy scary forest is all that stands between the Emerald City and the tower we’ve got Rapunzel locked up in.
GOTHEL: I wouldn’t be surprised if they try to rescue her.
DALLY: They will.
GOTHEL: How do you know that?
DALLY: I read the script!
ELPHIE: Don’t be such a smarty-pants! Thanks to my magic no one will ever make it through the hairy scary forest and find her!
SCENE 5
SCENE 6 - HAIRY SCARY FOREST
HILDA: Come on girls! We're going on an adventure to find Rapunzel.
DOLLY: Are you sure about that mum? We haven't a clue which way to go!
MOLLY: Yes, how can we find a girl who was kidnapped by witches years and years ago?
HILDA: We have to go through the Hairy Scary Forest.
MOLLY & DOLLY: THE HAIRY SCARY FOREST!
HILDA: Yes, the hairy scary forest!
DOLLY: Oh no! We'll be eaten alive by the mental monkeys!
MOLLY: It’s ok Dolly, I passed my kung fu fighting badge.
(Molly shows off her kung fu moves)
DOLLY: That’s not going to help.
HILDA: Ooh look humans! I'll ask them if they know how to get through the hairy scary forest.
HILDA: Helloooooo! Could you help us?
We need to know the way through the hairy scary forest.
DILLY & DALLY: THE HAIRY SCARY FOREST!
HILDA: Yes, the hairy scary forest!
TILLY: It’s that way!
DOLLY: That’s what I was afraid of...Not that way...anywhere but that way!
MOLLY: Calm down, Dolly, it's only a pantomime.
DOLLY: But it can't be that way!
MOLLY: Why what's that way?
DALLY: You'll have to pass through the hairiest, scariest part of the forest.
HILDA: The hairiest, scariest part of the forest!
DALLY: Yes, the hairiest, scariest part of the forest.
ALL: AAAARRGGHH!!
TILLY: We're going that way too, we have to go back and rescue our friend.
FREDA: We can all go together!
TILLY: Hello!
MILLY: Hello!
LILY: Hello!
MILLY: What is it?
TILLY: A monster!
LILY: What is it?
TILLY: A monster!
FREDA: Stop messing about!
HILDA: We have to get to the other side of the forest.
FREDA: This part of the forest could have monkeys and mummies.
DILLY: I don’t want to be grabbed by the monkeys.
DALLY: And I don't want to be grabbed by the mummies.
FREDA: I know, let's all sing a song.
MILLY: They say singing can scare mummies away.
TILLY: Your singing could scare anyone away!
MILLY: Charming!
TILLY: If you see any monkeys will you call out and let us know? Will you? Great!
ALL: Down in the forest, where nobody goes, there was a monkey, picking her nose, with a flick flick here and a flick flick there, monkeys really do not care.